Throwback

Well I'm home again. It's weird to be back. I miss all my friends back at Sheridan, and I miss my room too. It was so much bigger and well organized! My room here is a mess, as is my life.

Anyways, let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time in 8th grade I had these characters I drew, and I had personalities for them, and a whole world set up (they were basically just geometric shapes with faces) And I had this notebook in which I wrote up whole scenes and scripts about stories that took place, and I had an overarching story about taking over the world involved even.
Anyways, this notebook became lost to space and time somehow, probably because I was making it around the time my parents got divorced so it was very tricky, especially with all my stuff because it was moving all over the place all the sudden. And now I greatly miss that notebook. Because I am convinced that everything I wrote in there was completely hilarious (as I thought at the time) and it is probably some of the funniest stuff I've ever written (probably not) On occasion I start thinking about it and go on a man-hunt to find that notebook, but I always fail. It's probably been thrown out, but I can't quit looking, because there is such a multitude of STUFF in both my houses that its just impossible to give up hope.
Today I thought maybe it got mixed in with the schoolwork boxes my parents kept (unfortunately they did not keep one for the year I wrote it, due to the divorce) but I checked my 7th grade box anyway. I did not find it, but I did find all the art projects I did that year. Oh what fun. They're pretty bad. But here are some self portraits I did in the middle of my 13th year of life that might entertain. All I remember is that we had to do them ON a mirror. Tricky.


Sad part is...I still have all those clothes.



Anyways, here's a portrait I did for class awhile ago. Proof that being hungover makes you try new things because you're really not even thinking about it. It's not perfect, but I liked my color work.

Anyways, I hope to one day find that notebook and laugh at how awesome I was (seriously, 8th grade was an amazing year for me creatively speaking) In the meantime I can keep myself entertained with all the other things I wrote (I'm a writing maniac...I'm sure my blog doesn't help disguise that at all) and hopefully write more things. I'm becoming increasingly interested in comedy. Although I've never found myself a very funny person. I'd like to work on that.

Mermaids! For Snowboards! Yea!

My final 2d project. I was just having fun with these.


Anyways, I've kind of been neglecting my 100 themes challenge in lieu of trying to finish everything up for the school year. Basically everything is due this week. Bleh.

ALSO I'm a little unsure of what I want to do next year.
I want to go to LCAD, but my Dad is telling me I need to commit to a school and thus give up hope on Calarts. So it's either go to LCAD or stay at home and hope I get in. Which is not really a guarantee, especially because I find it more difficult to progress in my work without an artistic infrastructure around me. So...I don't know. I've been stuck on this for awhile now. I'm about 75% sure I'm going to go to LCAD. I will apply to Calarts no matter what, and if I get in, well, that can be another battle. If I don't, I can stay where I am and be happy, right?
It's just hard. I think LCAD will be a great school, but it's Cal fucking arts, pushing students to their fullest potential. You get to make a film every year. And all the fucking guest lectures! And all the companies that come just to Calarts, every year....sigh...I can't just forget about that so easily :/
BUT I do want to get on with my life, and start working hard and being in animation and stuff. Oh man, I am SO TERRIBLE at big decisions.

100 Themes Challenge- Week 2

9. Doom- see comic here. Warning: Very awkward if you know me. Also very large image.

10. Garden
11. Sadness
12. Confusion
13. Freedom
14. Inevitable
15. Idle...hippies are idle right?
16. Vampires....living in Canada has made me pretty much look like a vampire.


In other news:
I got accepted to Laguna College of Art and Design. With some money. Yay.
I decided not to appeal my Sheridan portfolio. I talked to a student and she said I just didn't have it...oh well.

I'm not sure what next year brings. I might go to LCAD but my Dad wants me to commit to a school and the only place I want to commit to is Calarts. So I may take a year off but that idea scares the poop out of me because I really like being in school and can't imagine anything else.

From color theory class last week. I'm kind of sad he didn't want to keep mine, but I got an A so I can't complain. I really like it, it was a fun assignment. I also felt like I learned a lot from it. I realized this as I was working on my new painting this morning.


Today I woke up not sad at all about Sheridan. I'm mostly just irritated that everyone else is getting in. Sheridan wasn't my dream school, but I'd like some validation, especially for all that work I put into it.

Anyways, there is something thrilling and enticing about rejections. Sure, it's scary and I don't know what comes next, but that is also the fun part. I could do ANYTHING if I really wanted to. So much potential. Even though I hope I get into LCAD. I keep having daydreams about living in a groovy apartment I can't afford and learning how to surf in my free time.

Here are some drawings from tonight's life drawing that I almost like, but not quite

Another Rejection

I got rejected to Sheridan's BAA animation program today. :/

I want to blame it on the fact that I'm an international student, and that my chances of getting in are significantly lower than my friends...when I compare my portfolio to theirs I feel we are evenly matched. But I can't really say anything until I see the scores.

It just makes me wonder....what the hell am I doing wrong?

SO many people tell me I've got what it takes, they expect to see me succeed, and then I fail. Am I just bad at putting together portfolios? What is going on?

Ugh, I'm really hoping LCAD will accept me now. I need the ego boost, and one of my close friends is going there next year and trying to convince me to come with...I am tempted...but I need to get accepted first, a thing which just isn't happening for me these days

What Makes a Great Teacher

Above is my most recent project from drawing systems. I honestly don't think it's super stellar. It's not bad, but I could have taken it so much further. I still got perfect marks on it. I guess you could say my drawing systems teacher likes me a lot. That's ok, I like her just as much back.
My drawing systems teacher, Sayeh, is incredible. She has so much devotion to helping her students. And I don't mean just in class. Sure, she'll spend anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes with us in class to talk about our work and what we should be doing individually. That's great, she really takes the time to make sure we understand the assignment, we are doing it correctly, and we are gaining something from it by pushing us. But she also cares a lot about our applications to other programs. This is a teacher who set up not just one but several sessions with animation and illustration students to take a look at our work and give us feedback. Did she have to do that? Not at all. But she wants to see the students that work hard succeed, so she did anyways. She gives us lectures not only about perspective and our projects, but about life and the wisdom she has gained from it. She passes on her knowledge, and I think she is very wise, constantly reminding us that no matter how talented we may be, we have to put the work into it to succeed, and that sometimes we still fail, and that's ok. I think it's rare to see a teacher with so much passion in a program like this, or in a college at all. I am really grateful I've had her as a teacher for even just this semester. I wish more teachers could be as dedicated as her.

100 Themes Challenge- Week 1

As some of you may know, I've been complaining a lot recently at about how incompetent I feel with digital art. So I decided to take the 100 themes challenge (see here for more info, I am doing variation 4) and use each theme as my start for a quick sketch a day.
So, without further ado, here are the first 8.
1. Life
I wanted to start with a photo reference just to get a feel for things. Unfortunately, a glass of water (supposed to represent life) is really hard to paint x.x
I guess this just goes to show how bad I am at this.
2. Youth
3. Content
I couldn't really think of anything good for this...so I went with my old stand-by of a naked lady. It's kind of like mature content...get it?
4. Change.
I've always wanted to do Doug Walker fan art
5. Dreams
This is how I've been sleeping a lot lately
6. Pessimistic
Ok, here I downloaded the REAL photoshop (not GIMP) and started playing with cool brushes and shit. It was fun
7. Pirate
8. Novel



Like I said, these are QUICK. I spend maybe 15-30 minutes on each of them. I'm not trying to create masterpieces right now. I just want to get comfortable using a tablet and all the tools. Maybe eventually I'll take some of these themes and do cooler stuff. But for now, yea, I feel like this is helping a bit. I'm also hoping this will spur some illustration skills and stuff.

Oh yea, I started a writing blog for the novel I am working on. Yay.