From color theory class last week. I'm kind of sad he didn't want to keep mine, but I got an A so I can't complain. I really like it, it was a fun assignment. I also felt like I learned a lot from it. I realized this as I was working on my new painting this morning.


Today I woke up not sad at all about Sheridan. I'm mostly just irritated that everyone else is getting in. Sheridan wasn't my dream school, but I'd like some validation, especially for all that work I put into it.

Anyways, there is something thrilling and enticing about rejections. Sure, it's scary and I don't know what comes next, but that is also the fun part. I could do ANYTHING if I really wanted to. So much potential. Even though I hope I get into LCAD. I keep having daydreams about living in a groovy apartment I can't afford and learning how to surf in my free time.

Here are some drawings from tonight's life drawing that I almost like, but not quite

Another Rejection

I got rejected to Sheridan's BAA animation program today. :/

I want to blame it on the fact that I'm an international student, and that my chances of getting in are significantly lower than my friends...when I compare my portfolio to theirs I feel we are evenly matched. But I can't really say anything until I see the scores.

It just makes me wonder....what the hell am I doing wrong?

SO many people tell me I've got what it takes, they expect to see me succeed, and then I fail. Am I just bad at putting together portfolios? What is going on?

Ugh, I'm really hoping LCAD will accept me now. I need the ego boost, and one of my close friends is going there next year and trying to convince me to come with...I am tempted...but I need to get accepted first, a thing which just isn't happening for me these days

What Makes a Great Teacher

Above is my most recent project from drawing systems. I honestly don't think it's super stellar. It's not bad, but I could have taken it so much further. I still got perfect marks on it. I guess you could say my drawing systems teacher likes me a lot. That's ok, I like her just as much back.
My drawing systems teacher, Sayeh, is incredible. She has so much devotion to helping her students. And I don't mean just in class. Sure, she'll spend anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes with us in class to talk about our work and what we should be doing individually. That's great, she really takes the time to make sure we understand the assignment, we are doing it correctly, and we are gaining something from it by pushing us. But she also cares a lot about our applications to other programs. This is a teacher who set up not just one but several sessions with animation and illustration students to take a look at our work and give us feedback. Did she have to do that? Not at all. But she wants to see the students that work hard succeed, so she did anyways. She gives us lectures not only about perspective and our projects, but about life and the wisdom she has gained from it. She passes on her knowledge, and I think she is very wise, constantly reminding us that no matter how talented we may be, we have to put the work into it to succeed, and that sometimes we still fail, and that's ok. I think it's rare to see a teacher with so much passion in a program like this, or in a college at all. I am really grateful I've had her as a teacher for even just this semester. I wish more teachers could be as dedicated as her.

100 Themes Challenge- Week 1

As some of you may know, I've been complaining a lot recently at about how incompetent I feel with digital art. So I decided to take the 100 themes challenge (see here for more info, I am doing variation 4) and use each theme as my start for a quick sketch a day.
So, without further ado, here are the first 8.
1. Life
I wanted to start with a photo reference just to get a feel for things. Unfortunately, a glass of water (supposed to represent life) is really hard to paint x.x
I guess this just goes to show how bad I am at this.
2. Youth
3. Content
I couldn't really think of anything good for this...so I went with my old stand-by of a naked lady. It's kind of like mature content...get it?
4. Change.
I've always wanted to do Doug Walker fan art
5. Dreams
This is how I've been sleeping a lot lately
6. Pessimistic
Ok, here I downloaded the REAL photoshop (not GIMP) and started playing with cool brushes and shit. It was fun
7. Pirate
8. Novel



Like I said, these are QUICK. I spend maybe 15-30 minutes on each of them. I'm not trying to create masterpieces right now. I just want to get comfortable using a tablet and all the tools. Maybe eventually I'll take some of these themes and do cooler stuff. But for now, yea, I feel like this is helping a bit. I'm also hoping this will spur some illustration skills and stuff.

Oh yea, I started a writing blog for the novel I am working on. Yay.

Moar! Yah!

Sketchbook pages I did while bored during presentations in drawing systems. Trying more of that compositional stuff.

^---Lol. Cam sits in his chair really low and it makes me laugh

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Warning: I'll probably be updating a lot more. I feel like I have hoardes of art to show, I've been very productive lately, and haven't been showing much school work.

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Kind of how I feel a lot lately

Figure as a compositional tool study #1 for color theory. About 50 minutes. We were only allowed two complements and an earth tone

Figure as a compositional tool study #2. About an hour and ten minutes. I think it was coming along nicely, too bad I ran out of time. The background has issues though.
I can't wait to show what I did in color theory class today! I got a lot of great feedback on it, and it looked super epic. You'll see what I mean soon enough ;)
Have I ever mentioned how much I love figure painting now??

I really want to learn how to do outdoor painting. Like, nature and stuff. I always try but I feel overwhelmed by all the color and things that are happening.
So much to learn!!!

Life drawing dump

5 minutes
(Is it me or did I totally disney-fy her hair?)

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So today hasn't been the best day ever.
I guess I'm still feeling a little down about my rejection. It's hard to constantly keep your head up. I mean obviously I'm going to keep trying and never give up, but there are just days when you ask yourself why you are doing this when there are so many people out there who are already better than you. I mean really, what do I have to add? I feel like no one ever taught me how to actually think. People taught me how to follow the guidelines and rewarded me for doing what they wanted. But to be a truly great artist you have to think for yourself...something I don't know how to do.

3 minutes each

I'm also really curious as to why I didn't get into Calarts. I mean, I don't think I'm some amazing artist or that I should totally be their top pick, but I did feel fairly confident, especially after improving so much after one year, and I actually liked my portfolio. So what was wrong?
Well I emailed Libby, twice, because I'm so anxious to know. She got back to me today saying she was too busy to give me my notes right now. If I really absolutely had to know I could call and she could say a bit, but if I wanted more thorough advice I should wait until May 1st. Ugh. How many notes could there have been?? I guess I will wait though, because I do want the full story. No more of this "just keep at it!" crap. I want real feedback this time, dammit.
Calarts never ceases to surprise me. Sometimes in the good way, but often in the bad. I'm really surprised at some of their decisions this year, and it leaves me feeling as clueless as when I started. I get mad sometimes, when I see people who are obviously good at drawing and could probably succeed in the program get rejected. This year must have been tough, I'm seeing some really talented people get crushed.

Personally, I feel as if my supplemental section fell short, as well as my sketch-book. I honestly think my basic figure drawing skills are decent enough for an entry level animation student (of course I'm not perfect and have tons more to learn, but you catch my drift) I lack in illustration skills. A lot of people apply this to their figure drawings, which I need to figure out. But also just in my fine arts stuff. I included a lot of random shit, including some boring school assignments, and none of it was super stellar.
Also my sketchbooks are full of lots of random shit. I always see these sketchbooks where every page is an amazing composition.
So I guess there are two things to work on.

3 minutes

So I guess I'm gonna go to every life drawing I can while I'm still here. And I'm going to experiment with style and composition in those, really explore, be very loose. None of this stuff really counts right now anyways. That is what I was going for tonight. I think it's showing a bit.

I'm also starting a challenge to do something quick in GIMP every day for 100 days so I can keep at the digital painting goal. Hopefully there will be some improvement, and maybe I can develop a style of digital art I'm happy with.

2 minutes

Still, with all this reform and hope, I am really tired and sad all the time. I've been trying everything. Improved diet, exercise every day, regular bed times, balanced social interaction, reading, structured days...and none of it seems to be helping. Sigh. I just want to go home at this point. I'm a bit interested to hear from Sheridan still, but gah, who knows. Just...who knows.

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These are a bit old....facial studies from Color Theory. About 1 hour each. The bottom two got displayed ^.^

A project I did for 2D Design. Supposed to be about the contrast of the land of canada


These are gestures I did when I was opening GIMP. There were some skateboarder outside. I feel like a huge creep. I also feel like I draw like a 5 year old when I use a tablet.

I have a lot of life drawing I've done recently, but I need to photograph it. I don't really like any of it anyways.