Amazingness

Hell week is officially over. Which ,makes me really happy. I slept for 11 hours last night and it was beautiful. I am feeling quite a bit better.
Yesterday though was pretty awful. I had to wake up at 7 am and go volunteer, then I went to drawing straight after, and then straight to work. I didn't get home til 10. Thats been what my whole week has been like. I haven't done a lick of homework.

Anyway, since I had been volunteering, I missed all the gestures which makes me mad because those are what I need to work on most. And I was so tired I was pretty much sucking completely at everything. People keep telling me to use charcoal but I was too exhausted to even try. I did some charcoal work, finished early, so I started using my colored pencils. Personally, I like what I do with my colored pencils so much more. They are so much smoother and softer and I can actually use them without dropping them, making lines wrong, etc. Pretty much everything in here is about 5-7 minutes long

You don't even get to see the charcoal versions of these, they're so bad

This was a 20 minute peice. Right before this I called my boss who told me he hadn't found anyone to cover my shifts (BS too, he could have tried harder, I've talked to people who weren't getting enough hours this week) and I felt so overwhelmed I started crying and basically just feeling like shit. It was really hard to control myself in a room full of people. Sadly, it was during this I made my best work for the day. Even though the hand is shit. I like the rest

20 min pose....boring, and from an odd angle. The foot was wrong, and I couldn't fix it and it made me angry.

Portfolio day is in T-minus 7 days. I really need to pick out my best works and put them together in a portfolio, as well as compile a few pages of gestures and some of my animal sketches. And maybe some sketchbook pages? I guess this is like a preliminary portfolio, and it's stressful. Any suggestions as to what I should put in it?

Someone on AB made the point the other day of how we were getting carried away in our "experimental" ideas. I knew from the beginning calarts really only wanted to see that you could draw well, and also that you could think creatively at the same time. Well duh. I guess I had jumped on the bandwagon. I am focusing more on my anatomy and 3d structure more these days, just because I know its important I can do that and not just make things crazy. I am really concerned I don't know this stuff well enough though. Even if I could get in on the stuff that I have, I would flounder in the school.

This is why I am not too afraid. I think I have gotten over my fear of not going to college right out of highschool. There are a lot of different paths you can take in life, and college right away isn't the only one. Lots of really successful and happy people never went to college at all. I think I'd be ok with going to CU, being a ski bum, doing an exchange program, or this one work program in austrailia (traveling+surfing+work=awesome) while simultaneously working really hard on my drawing skills. I know they're not up to par, and I don't want to get in when I know I am not worthy.

And besides, I have a whole lifetime looking at me. I have years and years to get into the animation industry. How much time do I have to travel, to party, to experience life? I want to take advantage of it while I still can. As soon as I get into calarts I will be tied down to the industry forever, and before you know it I'll be married and have kids and thats when its all over!


People who have blogs and are in calarts have started posting their work and I am so overwhelmed by how AMAZING it is and how they say they are overwhelmed by how amazing everyone else it. So much amazingness it's scary!!