Unfortunately, I have no art to share today. I was just pondering things and felt the need to write it out.
I went to the library yesterday and picked up some books on anatomy, dynamic figure drawing, heads, and figures in motion. I am hoping the books will be helpful...but what can I say? They are books. In art you learn from experience. Books just give you ideas. But I have been reading the anatomy one quite a bit, on account of the people on ab forums told me I should work on my anatomy. I am frustrated, because I understand anatomy. It's just a matter of making my pencil connect with my thoughts. Maybe I have some sort of medical condition >_< or maybe anatomy is just really hard. But this book basically just outlines all the muscles and their uses and how the interior affects the exterior. Perhaps its just not the right book. I don't know. But it sounds exactly like Jason, who made no sense to me at all. ("Oh I think you have her medial malleolus wrong" yea thanks, because that helps a lot) They also told me to look at stuff by andrew loomis. Funnily enough I've already seen it, I just didn't know it (Jason used a bunch of his stuff as handouts) So clearly, thats not where I am lacking.
Perhaps I am just thinking too hard. I decided my new motto should be "don't think, just draw." And I shall also ban myself from lines. Because I think what I am doing is going "ok so these lines define this mass here..." WRONG! Mass should define mass, not lines!
I am just struggling with keeping up all this drawing. I love it more than anything, but where do people find the willpower to just set the rest of life to the side and do nothing but draw?!?! I can't do it! There is too much going on, too many worries, too much to do! I have so many problems. College is just one of them. But I guess my future rests on this....
But does it? I mean, who knows, maybe calarts isn't the path for me. I haven't even visited the school yet, so who knows? I want to go to calarts because of the teachers, the guest lecturers, and the location. But animation is still animation, and an animator is only as good as their portfolio, no matter what school they went to. So I could go to RMCAD or somewhere else and still land in a really good job. Or even if I landed in a crappy job, well hey, whats life without challenge? John Lasseter landed in a crappy job, and look where he is now.
Maybe I should look into normal schools with animation departments. I am worried that I will end up at an art school and I will feel suffocated amongst all the other artsy people. Because I don't hang out with artsy people. I never really have (not really serious ones anyway). Maybe it will be horrible!
I wish I could watch some people do some really good figure drawing, see what technique they approach it with. I am obviously doing things wrong, but I don't know how to do it any other way!